The Misfit Brigade
by EndMySufferingXDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Summary: War. War never changes.


"I am fucking freezing my balls off!" Larry shouted as he sank deeper into the warmth of his winter equipment. "The first, and only, fucking hunk of dirt that we stumbled across ever since we got here, and of course it had to be a snowy shithole!"

"To be honest, it wasn't that bad while we were at the mountain's base." Robby explained from the shelter. "I mean, they had trees and running water there, and, if you think about it and compare it to what we have back at home, it isn't that bad."

"I don't remember asking you a God damned thing!"

"Sorry, boss." Robby capitulated before peeking his head through the shelter's entrance (too fancy of a name for a hole in the snow). "Though, I gotta ask: if it's so cold outside, why don't you come inside? The more you stay in the cold, the more energy is consumed by your body in order to keep you warm. It will consume it even quicker if you keep shouting and we have started running short on supplies since yesterday."

"Oh, for fuck's sake, don't give me that _Boo-hoo we are running out of food and water _shit again!" Larry groaned as he turned to face his comrade. "We've run into 10 different types of hares, and 20 different types of animals I don't even recognize ever since we got here. We have enough food running around us to last us a lifetime, or are you just trying to tell me you've never skinned an animal?"

"Well, boss… With all due respect, I was, and will always be, a city boy..."

"And, unfortunately for me, it shows. Big time."

Robby wanted to say something that would seem like a really cool and smart comeback, yet he bit his lips as he decided that conserving his heat and energy was more important than satisfying his ego. That being said, he settled for simply rolling his eyes at his boss - who, in the meantime, turned his back to Robby and resumed pacing back and forth around the campsite - before disappearing into the shelter.

The opening in the snow led to a small tunnel that ended with a den which should've been spacious enough for 5 men to huddle together and sleep. Of course, Robby's recon team was made out of he, Larry and 2 other soldiers, but he was smart enough to anticipate the fact their backpacks would need a place to be piled over the night as he dug. Speaking of which, as soon as he entered the den, the soldier went straight for his backpack in which he began to rummage, pushing aside and/or pulling out parts from his cooking, military, survival and winter gear until he pulled out a pen, a well-kept notebook and a light stick.

_Nightly mission report: #8_

_Compiled by: Penal Volunteer Rob Sherman, member of Penal Recon Squad Alpha. _

Robby wrote in his notebook, using his knees for support as he sat huddled in one of the shelter's corners. His tactical winter gloves, the fact that his glasses kept getting fogged up by the cold air meeting the warmth of his body, and the modest green light of the light stick made the task way harder than it had to be, yet the soldier pressed on. He loved writing.

_Supplies are running low, yet, as it has been established by Penal Volunteer Lawrence Goodman - and confirmed, taking into consideration last night's dinner - at least a part of the local wildlife can and will act as a convenient replacement._

_There continues to be 0 signs of human activity, mainly due to the sub-zero temperatures and the dangerous terrain now mainly comprised of ice, snow, frozen dirt and rocks. However, despite the freezing temperature of the air, the mountain's relative proximity to a large body of water, and the altitude at which we decided to stop and set up camp, winds are next to non-existent. From time to time, seemingly at random, though most often at night, a light breeze will appear, moving either downhill or across the mountainside. As such, extreme weather phenomena which would be expected at this altitude, such as blizzards and storms, are non-existent or, at least, have been so ever since we began climbing uphill. In fact, weather phenomena became rarer and rarer as we moved up the mountain and, whenever they manifested, it was in the form of gentle snow falls which did not impede our advancements by reducing visibility. Fog seems to be the only constant phenomena in this area._

_Communication with _IUSS Pioneer _has degraded to the point where we can only get across the words _Alive. All good. Over. _before the sound static reaches a point where I'm worried that something might explode in the transceiver. Of course, considering our distance from the ship, it is a miracle that we can still make even the shortest of contacts with it, however, as stated in the first written reports, the transceiver has been a problem ever since we've landed. Back when we could talk to the ship, the crew complained of similar problems. Something must be interfering with the frequencies… _

_Luckily, due to the aforementioned shortage of supplies, hostile temperatures and dangerous terrain, tomorrow we will march uphill as much as we can until nightfall before setting up camp and, along with it, the beacon. Doing so, our transceiver should get a boost that would allow us to properly contact _Pioneer_ again and announce the mission's completion and our RTB. _

"Oy, Robby!" Larry shouted from outside. "Don't you think I don't know what you are doing down there! You'd better not mention a single thing about _that__._"

"Captain Strickhand got attacked and dragged somewhere far by an unidentified creature, most likely some sort of a cougar or tiger, boss." Robby replied after tossing his head back and letting out a frustrated sigh. "Just as you've said."

"Screw captain Dickhead, I don't give a fuck about him! I was talking about **that**."

"Oh..."

It was the 5th day when they first noticed what seemed, at that time, to be something floating close to the mountainside. From then on, with the squad's interest sparked, thorough observation through their binoculars revealed the floating's object true nature: a mix between a temple which they could only describe as budhist looking, only much darker, and a castle stood atop a small floating island of land.

Every muscle and sense of military discipline within Robby screamed at him that any report made from that day on had to start with an update on the floating structure, but Larry had other ideas.

When it came to exotic discoveries, Larry was the advocate of a more… up close and personal approach of the matter from which not even dark, flying temples were excluded. Such an approach, of course, required a great deal of secrecy from the part of everyone involved, mainly because paranoia was a popular choice of mental illnesses among imperial officials. As such, even before leaving the ship in a small boat, captain Strickhand was sure to point out to his squad that looting, and any other action that would alert the locals of imperial presence on their land, was punishable by death through summary execution. Ironically, after the first 3 days, it was the captain who ended up executed.

"You okay Robby?" Larry asked, interrupting his comrade's train of thoughts. "Don't you die on me, I still need someone who knows how to read and write!"

"Y-yeah, I'm okay, boss." Robby replied after clearing his head. "Don't worry. I haven't written anything about that."

"Now that's what I like to hear! Also, stop worrying that much. I can hear it in your voice. No one's going to notice, or care enough to notice, the fact that your reports will mention a flying castle out of a sudden... But why am I telling you this? You'll feel better once you'll get your share, you greedy motherfucker!"

Even though Robby hated to admit it, Larry was right. Sure, he wasn't a ruthless thug, murderer and/or rapist, unlike the bulk of the Penal Volunteers, but that did not mean he did not love money - and, ironically, ended up paying dearly for his weakness of which prison could not cure him. Not even the years of service into one of the infamous Imperial Penal Regiments managed to cure him of his greed. Hell, it could be argued that the time spent with people like Larry and his friends made the matter worse…

"Yeah… I guess so." Robby said, not really caring if his voice managed to escape the shelter or not.

"See? Was it that hard? Jesus Christ, Rob, you make me feel good about not going to college..." Larry replied from outside. "Anyway, if you are done with your chicken scratches, you should come outside. James and Alex have returned. "

"I'd rather stay in and keep the place warm."

"Suit yourself. Don't forget to prepare your equipment. Tomorrow we climb."

And with that, Larry turned his attention to the pair of soldiers that descended into the camp from uphill.

"So?" he asked as his comrades dropped their backpacks into the snow. "What have you got for me?"

"A deserted, Asian-looking castle… thing." James said. "Interesting enough, it looks brand new… I mean, you know, from down here."

"Define… brand new."

"Pretty good structural integrity, whatever the hell that's supposed to mean… No broken windows, no overgrown stuff..."

"Yet there was nobody in there." Alex completed. "I mean, nobody we could see, and we've spent 2-3 hours staring at that thing. No soldiers, no kings, no queens, no dragons, no lights… Yet it looks well kept. It kind of creeps me out..."

Larry shrugged.

"Medieval castles weren't always manned. A lonely old man is more than enough to take care of a castle, or a temple, for that matter. Why should that floating thing be any different? Besides, cold usually preserves dead bodies pretty well so why wouldn't it preserve… uh… dead buildings too?"

"That's… not how cold and buildings work." James said.

"Hey, if you want to bitch about everything that I say then know that Robby is… um… I guess we can call it downstairs? Yeah… Robby is downstairs if you want to bitch with him."

"Then I'll go and bitch to him until I fall asleep. I'm spent."

"Don't forget to prepare your stuff for tomorrow!"

"Yeah, yeah, shut the fuck up..." James mumbled before disappearing into the shelter.

"What's gotten into him?" James asked turning his attention to Alex.

"Lack of a proper dinner mixed in with the lack of a good night's sleep." the soldier explained. "He should be fine by tomorrow."

"As long as he doesn't snore and I don't have to wake up and resist the urge to, you know, slice his throat, then I don't care. Now, if you do not have anything left to say about your scouting mission, then I think it's time we followed James' example and went to sleep."

"There is one… thing." Alex said after thinking about everything he and his comrade saw through their binoculars.

"Well then… Spit it out!"

"Lights."

"Huh? Didn't you 2 tell me there were no lights just now?"

"Not that type of lights. Purple ones, shining brightly for 2 or 3 times in the castle's courtyard, as if someone played with a fire, or explosives. I nearly got blinded when I looked directly at them through the damned night vision binoculars… Boss, I know you've heard this a couple of times by now, but I really don't like this. Even though the thing looked deserted at first glance, who knows what kind of fucked up shit might be hidden in there? There could be a fucking dragon nest for all we know, or some kind of cult, or a bomb, or… or… Fuck it, I don't like this!"

"Alex, dear friend and white brother, I hope you aren't trying to tell me that I've waited 4 hours for you and James in the cold, only to have you telling me that you saw some spooky lights and now want to go home… See that?" Larry asked pointing at Alex's M16. "Whatever it's up there, it should be more scared of the lights you, I and the other 2 pieces of shit down there can make. See this?" Larry asked pointing at his own assault rifle. "You should be more scared of the type of lights I can let out then some random, purple, party lights, do you understand?"

"Yes, boss..." Alex said gazing at Larry's rifle.

"Great!" the squad leader said, suddenly lighting up and giving his comrade a smack on the arm. "I do feel good helping out my… fellow brothers-in-arms during their moments of weakness. In fact, I feel so good that I've decided that you will have the pleasure, and privilege, of taking out whatever the fuck is creating those oh-so-terrifying lights. See? I'm forcing you to deal with your problems instead of encouraging you to run away from them. Damn… I'd be such a good psychologist, don't you agree?"

"I don't know what a psychologist is so I can't really agree or disagree with you, boss…"

"Of course you can't, that's why I'm the squad leader, so, now that we've dealt with your fear of lights, here are your new orders: go to sleep. Tomorrow's a big day."

"As you say… boss."


End file.
